Friday, January 14, 2011

Slideway to Heaven.

Once in a while one will come across a friend so valuable, so precious that that friend almost seems to always be by your side whenever, whatever.

In this case, the friend i had was much closer - i first met him in 2000 when i was just in primary school. he was also young then, and he had nowhere to stay, so i took him in.

he was literally by my side through all the drama and anguish for a good portion of my life thus far.
whenever i got home, he would welcome me back with much movement and waving. surprisingly enough, my other family members did not get the same treatment, although he got used to their presence.
in the times when i was kicked out of the house, he accompanied me and saw me though those difficult times as well.
when i needed company, he was always there to listen, never saying a word but always listening, always watching.
in all the chaotic times, he would be the only calm one in the house, and in the lonely sleepless nights before i met her, he accompanied me until i was able to sleep.


he was a good friend.


the week before, he became sluggish and had an extreme loss of appetite - as this happened once in a while i did not think much of it, but his condition worsened as the days went by despite my family helping to observe and care for him.

i approached a qualified doctor in the field to ask for advice, and she did mention that he was quite old given that he was who he was. another warning came when i was told by my love that i should be prepared for the eventuality of his passing, but i believed that he would press on and see me through for another decade or so..



and then i reached home to find his cold, lifeless body.



he passed on sometime in the evening when i was out. he almost seemed to be sleeping when i saw him, but when i tried to stroke his hand and he did not respond, i knew he was gone.
more than a few tears were shed over his passing.

the friend i had for so, so long would no longer be with me.

silly as it may sound, my family had a little funeral for him where he lay. in all the chaos that was my family's past and despite all their urging for me to release him, they also somehow grew to care for him and love him.

i buried him under my block with the aid of an old wooden cooking spoon and a spatula, before snapping the wooden spoon and marking his grave with a simple post. there i stood for a while in the stillness of the night, before returning to my house and seeing the empty tank outside.

somehow i'm glad that he held on for as long as he did until i got back from my trip to bangkok. at least i got to see him for one last time.



there's a little terrapin-shaped hole in my heart now.
one that was filled and set for over a decade.




R.I.P Squirtle the Red-Eared Slider
2000-2011.
Much loved.. Gone too soon.

I miss you so much :'(

Sunday, December 05, 2010

One of those days

It's just one of those days where you totally have to stop and go "wait.. what the hell just happened?"

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Never thought I'd say this..

.. but fuck toy collecting.
fuck kamen riders.
fuck transformers.

this shit gets me into more trouble than it makes up for.






...and for the first time in a long time,
i find myself with my back against the wall.
alone.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Final Countdown

well then, no need for another reflective post on life, is there..?

i'll be back soon.. and i'm gonna be totally hot.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Time Travel

There was a boy
who built a time machine
it was spiffy and shiny
as he surveyed his work
he felt so proud
and smiled in absolute glee

all that was left was
to test it
and with a triumphant cry
the boy pushed the button
and declared
"i really hope i don't die!"

through the timestream
he shot smoothly
as the years went rushing by
out of the wormhole
he landed on his back
facing the midnight sky

he stood up and
dusted himself down
and lo, what did he see?
there on the grass
below him was
a butterfly moving weakly

he thought nothing of it
and proceeded to go
on a little adventure of his own
but before he knew it
his time machine rang
oh, how time had flown

it was time to return
back to his time
and as he stepped into the machine
he couldnt help but notice
the little butterfly's wings
were an odd silvery sheen

he thought nothing of it
and away he went
back to from whence he came
but when he stepped
out into his time
nothing was ever again the same

before him was
a large expanse
of ruin, as far as he could see
he sank to his knees
in shock and despair
how on earth could this be?

he then remembered the butterfly
and something else
called the butterfly effect
he killed a butterfly
when he went back in time
and now the timestream was wrecked

the past came back
to bite him so
horribly hard in his rear
the butterfly effect
wasn't just a theory
and then it all became clear

although he didnt know it
it was his fault
he brought doom upon the world
that butterfly
was responsible
for the first few flowers that unfurled

since the butterfly died
the flowers
no longer came to be
and a massive
chain reaction
which destroyed nature utterly

his eyes widened
as he realized
his biggest, penultimate fear
it was not a ghost
nor a demon
it was dying alone here

and as he sank
to his knees once more
he let out a mournful cry
"please, someone, help!
I don't wanna be
left here to die."

and he felt a hand shake him
and he awoke
it was all but a terrible dream
his mother assured
him it was so
and it was.. or so it would seem.

as she left the room
he opened his clenched hand
his heart stopped and he thought he would die
for in his sweaty palm
there lay unmoving

a silver-winged

crushed

butterfly.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Smile

I have no idea
Why your smile
Means so much to me
Suddenly I find
For once in my life
I am truly happy

Knowing that
You're loving me
Makes me smile everyday
And when I hold
Your hand I know
Everything's gonna be okay.







Thanks for keeping me going, babe. :)

Friday, June 18, 2010

Well, Life.. What Now?

So many variables to consider, so many options to weigh, so much residue to sift through.

So much history to unearth, so many memories to rediscover, so many truths to realize.

So many hurdles to cross, so many hatchets to bury, so many roadblocks to clear.





I drag my feet into oblivion
past the photo frames
catching a glimpse of the time
when life was but fun and games

when a plump little boy
cared about nothing at all
had a genuine smile on his face
whose worst enemy was a fall

who never thought the future
would be this tough to handle
when hope is put out and relighted
as easily as a flame from a candle

gone were the times when
nothing really mattered to me
where troubles hardly existed
when i was truly free

the times have changed now
life's shackles have clamped down
shit spread all around me
all i can see is brown

and yet despite it all
amidst the sea of dung
a little tree pokes out
from shit life has sprung

holding onto the tree
as it begins to grow
it lifts me above the mess
up, up and away we go

higher and higher we reach
through the clouds of wool
and there next to the sun
i see a chain labeled: "Pull"

Pulling on it
with all my might
i see the heavens part
with a magnificent roar
the torrents were unleashed
it was just the start

there was a renewal
as the floods
washed all the shit away
the dark clouds turned
white and fluffy
and suddenly there was day

slipping down from the tree
i missed the clouds
and fell from a great height
jolting awake
feeling a tinge of sadness
a guy can dream, right..?